Why I Would Rather be a Zombie than a Vampire

There has been a recent resurgence – or rather, reanimation – of zombies and vampires in the entertainment industry.

They are probably the two most popular monsters and both have long and ever-changing histories in the arts and entertainment business, but these beasts have had new life breathed into them by popular modern adaptations. There are the Resident Evil and 28 Days Later film franchises and 30 Days of Night, the teeny-bopper book series sensation Twilight, countless video games like Dead Rising and Left 4 Dead…the list goes on.

In light of this, someone asked me which I would rather be: a zombie or a vampire. I didn’t hesitate to say vampire. The modern literary vampire is known to be intelligent, suave and sophisticated, well dressed and even sexy. Think Brad Pitt in Interview with the Vampire or any of Anne Rice’s other characters. Vampires are immortal yet they walk among the living like normal citizens despite being undead.

On the other side of the horror see-saw, zombies are portrayed as stupid – even when they can run fast enough to chase your moving car – dirty and decaying corpses who groan and shriek, making it impossible for them to blend into the world of the living. Instead of being solitary figures like vampires, zombies travel in packs and are often aligned with the loss of individuality, cults and communism. And I think most people would agree that while the sensuous blood sucking of vampires is sexy, the voracious flesh eating of zombies is just gluttonous and grotesque.

So vampire seemed like the obvious choice. But when I gave the question a little more thought, I realized I was selling zombies short.

What fun is being immortal when everyone you would ever know and love would die? And as much as I appreciate a higher intellect, after living for centuries I have a feeling the novelty might start to wear off. Perhaps zombies aren’t burdened by idiocy, but liberated by obliviousness. After a couple hundred years I don’t think I would mind putting complex theories aside in favour of getting in line to mindlessly chase some people through suburbia or a mall.

Now it’s time to get to the core of this debate. Brains aside, and on to brawn. In a fight between a zombie and a vampire, I am quite confident the zombie would win, no contest. First, the two monsters can be considered equals in the sense that they both possess the ability to transform their victims into one of them. And yes, the vampire could suck the zombie’s blood, but since a zombie is dead its blood probably wouldn’t provide the vampire with the necessary nutrition, rendering this attack ineffective. However, the zombie could eat the vampire. This could result in the creation of a zombie-vampire hybrid because the zombie would ingest the vampire’s blood and, if we are to believe Bram Stoker, would subsequently become immortal.

So I ask you: Would you rather abide by social constructs – except for the odd time you need to feed – and spend your nights in an uncomfortable wooden box for eternity, or would you rather throw restraint to the wind and run around like you’re a kid again, eating what ever you want, including vampires?

That’s what I thought.

The Do-It-Yourself Music Industry

Don Ross a guest speaker at Fanshawe? Good thing I had my trusty 2 Dundas bus schedule in my purse to take notes on! Hello A&E Journalism found story.

In the past few years, it has become apparent that the internet may be indie music’s best friend.  Big mainstream record labels are great, with their contracts, marketing resources, and high-tech studios.  But perfecting the fine art of self-promotion and -engineering is the smartest thing that any performer or writer can do during this age of technological obsession.  I mean, come on.  Don Ross is doing it.

I think for many people, the term “indie music” conjures up the sounds of folk-like plinking guitar melodies or soaring synth and keyboard lines played by 20-somethings in skinny jeans, skinny sweaters and skinny t-shirts in neon colours. 

With so many unique artists classified under the indie umbrella, the way most people think of indie music just doesn’t work.  The genre is indefinable now.  The term “indie” is simply shorthand for “independent,” and refers to an artist or group not signed to a major label, regardless of musical style.

How does 48-year-old Don Ross fit into this?  Wearing a plain black t-shirt and jeans, the Canadian fingerstyle guitarist gave an interview and performed three songs at Fanshawe College Friday afternoon.  I wouldn’t say Ross fits the image of a young hip indie musician, but after releasing nine albums for three major labels, he became an indie artist in the ‘90s and is signed with the independent online label Candyrat Records which specializes in virtuoso artists.  He’s familiar with the changing music industry.

According to Ross, there has never been a better time to be an indie artist.  All you need is YouTube, a MacBook Pro with Pro Tools, and a garage.  Or at least that’s what he uses. 

Downloading music for free from file sharing sites has become very popular and, rather than fighting the seemingly unstoppable trend, artists need to make the system work for them.  Yes, it’s a shame that so many people are less willing to pay for music now, but at the very least the downloading provides exposure.  Here’s where self-promotion through YouTube comes in.

I love YouTube.  It’s one of the things I miss most when I return home to dial-up internet.  If people can hear an artist’s music and see an artist’s unique style on YouTube, then the hope is that it will help that artist build a fan base.  Since it’s so easy to acquire music now, Ross says that live shows are the new Holy Grail of the music industry.  It was once records.  You use the internet to draw people in, get them buying tickets to your shows and, if you’re lucky, buying albums while they’re there! 

In the past year I’ve been privileged enough to see Bob Dylan in concert from the fifth row, and see The Spades, a young band from my home region, open for Matthew Good at the legendary Massey Hall.  Live shows are an undeniably unparalleled experience, and there’s always the possibility that the unknown opening band will become a new favourite.

Back to YouTube, 29-year-old American fingerstyle guitarist Andy McKee, Candyrat artist and friend to Ross, is a perfect example of its power.  Two years ago, McKee’s video for “Drifting” was featured on the site and has since been viewed almost 18 million times.  Sure, it’s no 26.3 million views in four months of Coldplay’s “Viva La Vida,” but I’d say that’s pretty good for an alternative indie artist!

The other big way artists set themselves apart from the masses and take control of their music is through self-engineering.  Here’s where that MacBook Pro you insisted you needed and your family’s unused garage come in.

Ross says the key to engineering your own music is having a good ear.  For all you artists graced with natural musical talent willing to put in the extra time, it’s a great alternative to paying techies to do it for you.  While fancy, expensive programs and equipment are helpful, if you have the musical and technical skills you can produce fairly high quality material with less extravagant equipment.

If I was an indie musician, I would probably be thinking, “That sounds pretty good, but are there any other benefits? I am, after all, a young starving artist with ever dwindling support from the Canadian government.” 

Good news.  In addition to having more creative control over your work, you can save money!  And in these times of financial crisis I think that’s something we can all high-five over.  Saving money is a staple of DIY projects and YouTube is, at least for now, free to use.

Do yourselves a favour, indie artists.  Take advantage of technology and the wonders of a DIY music industry.  And do everyone else a favour by providing videos with artistic merit so we aren’t stuck watching clips of people’s cats and 10-year-olds singing “I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It.”