Welcome Back

I'm going to reprise my blog, begin my return to the online community, by writing about how much I love being alone. Every day I have a block of classes separated by a single one-hour break. Today was the first break I spent alone this week.

Since returning to London I've generally been displeased about spending much time by myself. I'm lucky enough to have one of my best friends living two doors away (and that's the two laundry room doors inside my house) and for the first couple weeks there were a lot of back to school festivities involving countless people and places. But today, within the first few moments of sitting down into a familiar chair and plugging into my iPod I remembered how much I enjoy, and need, this time alone.

I've realized that I drift away in lectures because the unidirectional, constant sound is just enough to make me comfortable (for those unaware, I'm often highly uncomfortable with silence). This time alone lets my mind wander and not risk my nearly completed and grossly expensive academic career.

Like my aversion to silence, I often think that my dislike of being alone is an issue of insecurity. Perhaps I worry that I may stumble across a facet of myself that I don't like, or perhaps I'll return to my dirty habit of over analyzing something in my life that I'm bothered by or seems to good to be true. But I suppose returning to being alone is like riding a bike, and all those worries and apprehension are, in themselves, a product of my tendency to overanalyze.

But I'm really happy about the way things are right now and I'm alright because today,

I am alone.

I am comfortable and I am calm.

I am creative.

I am at peace.